Forgiveness : way to happiness.

Hurt is in the normal flow of life. Events, circumstances, and behaviours are its cause. In normal human interactions, there are times when we get hurt and there are times when we cause hurt. To hurt and be hurt is human. Hurt is the pain of life. The grief of life.

Our actions in this world have motivations. These motivations carry the baggage of expectations. It is these expectations that are the cause of pain, the cause of sorry, the cause of hurt and grief. We expect to receive something. When we do not get it, we feel hurt.Sometimes we are the recipient of hurt. Sometimes we are the cause of hurt caused to others. The more hurt we cause to others, the more we will be punished with hurt in the future. This is karma. This is justice.Sometimes it is in the depth of emotional hurt that we find our true ourselves. We find the people who really matter. We find the values that matter. Deep pain causes melancholy and leads to a reflective state. We reach within our depths to find a solution to our suffering. There are two types of possible reactions to hurt. Two possible solutions. The first solution permanently solves the pain and suffering. The second solution leads to a further increase of the problem.

The first solution or reaction is called forgiveness. The second possible reaction is called revenge.

When we forgive and ask for forgiveness, we broaden our humanity. Our hurt melts in the breadth of our forgiveness. When we forgive, we elevate our spirituality. We rise above the cause. The cause seems to small. We suddenly our standing like a giant with our forgiveness. There is a precondition to be able to act in this grand way. First, we have to drop our pride and ego. Once we can do that with ease, forgiveness comes easy. Hurt becomes only a distant memory.

But there is a second way of reaction to hurt, a reaction which is more popularly practised, termed as revenge. When we are hurt, we suddenly realise that our pride and high status must be defended and protected. We become protectors of our pride. We build a fabled wall of invincibility around us. We try to live upto our invincible image. The protection of pride and ego is the chief reason why people resort to revenge. Revenge is a losing game. Your hurt will only increase. The more the revenge, the more the hurt. You will be pulled into a destructive, emotional whirlpool. Beware !

I have analysed hurt, the cause of hurt, and the possible solutions. This simple analysis has depth of meaning and wisdom. In its practise lies the keys of happiness.

Why be afraid of failure?

We are slowly becoming a global colony of frightened shadows. We are petrified of failure; terrified at plunging down the social-financial-emotional-mental graph; paranoid at being judged, mocked or worse be called a ‘loser’. We have become obsessed at winning, consumed by the need that all should end well and that everything should be the way we have planned it to be.

 

 

Sure, such thinking is natural and normal.

 

 

The problem is, when one becomes obsessed with the weighing scale of success and failure, happiness and sorrow, fulfilment and void, and thus you don’t venture forth to pursue your dreams. With such an attitude, you already have botched up; you have not given yourself a chance to live life at your terms.

 

 

So many who come for channelling and counselling, refrain from venturing into a relationship, business, work, passion not because they don’t want to, but because ‘what if this doesn’t work out’.

 

 

They might love somebody and be loved in return, but because of the nut cracker of a chance of things not going as planned, and ‘what if I land up with my heart broken’, so many don’t give themselves a shot to happiness.

 

 

Or one might not follow his or her passion and dream, because ‘it is not regular and secure’ and the chance of failure could be a little more than if one followed the herd and played safe.

 

 

So life becomes a compromise and once you compromise for one thing, in all probability you will either begin to compromise on most things or become aggressive and bitter about all things.

 

 

So the fear of the relationship going wrong or whatever dream not fructifying, doesn’t allow them to even give it a chance in the first place to succeed. You already have failed then.

 

 

The question to ask is, so what if my heart breaks over a relationship or life in general or the business venture or whatever one is passionate about? So bloody what if one doesn’t succeed?

 

 

Why should that stop you or me from giving it hundred per cent and leaving the rest to Providence and one’s Master. Yes, you need to be wise, careful, practical, but if the only reason one doesn’t venture is the fear of failing, then something is terribly wrong.

 

 

Why are we so obsessed about the destination that we have forgotten the joy of travelling and the very journey itself.

 

 

Why are we so preoccupied in not failing that we have virtually stopped trying and thus, have stopped even living, as not giving life one’s all, is not living, but existing.

 

 

Yes, go ahead and do the math, but do the math for the right reasons and not because there is a chance that you might not succeed or you might get your heart broken.

 

 

Thank the Lord, we all started walking early, or else God alone knows, how many would venture to learn to walk, as learning to walk involves considerable amount of falling down.

 

 

There is nothing wrong in falling or failing... we all fall...we all have and will fail sometime or the other….we will have our hearts trampled and our teeth kicked in, metaphorically.

 

 

So what? Everybody cannot win in a race. There will be somebody who will come last too. I would rather lose in something I am passionate about then win in something that doesn’t light up my bulb. Giving one’s best is winning in its self too.

 

 

The only thing to be careful about is that if things don’t go as planned, don’t get crushed, don’t bicker, don’t indulge in hate, don’t abuse and get all negative, with God or your near ones or the world or those who are your detractors. Many people don’t like others succeeding as it is a constant reminder of their compromise with life and their dreams and passions.

 

 

If you can rise above the situation and failure with grace, then you have not fallen or failed, but actually risen spiritually far above what you possibly would and could have, if you hadn’t ventured to pursue your dream, and thus gone through the pain and agony.

 

 

Go ahead and give yourself and life a chance. And if you should tumble, it’s ok. Get up, dust your clothes and walk on. At least you won’t have to live with the perpetual heart burn of ‘what if I had just given it a try’.

 

 

Be Blessed.