Steps To Reframe Your Life

There’s a point in life where you become fully aware of your own nature, and its faults . But changing habits isn't easy; you’ve been who you have been for decades. And there’s no need to change the core, but a few necessary steps may be inevitable if you’ve realised that certain things are holding you back from realising your full potential as a professional , and your capacity to lead a happy life . How do you go about it ?

Like every story in this world , it begins with pen and paper (or in my case its laptop ). Write down your life story , Visualise the future, and start editing all the things pulling you down. According to psychologist, and the professor of human behaviour , Dan McAdams , all of us have a set narrative scripts that we follow to predict , evaluate , respond and control our lives. And through it becomes difficult to change this narrative , at times , it’s the only way to see a better future. 

It’s difficult to jump from an idea to execution. But when your thoughts have been penned, turning them into action gets easier . It helps you gain a clear perspective of where your life is moving . If you are going through a crisis , focus on post-trauma growth. Know your patterns, choose the words and emotions that give you happiness. Break negative interactions.

Rewriting your present give you a sense of control of your life. Try telling your present story to strangers , watch their relations, take notes , Transcend painful setbacks and reshape your own story . You can’t change what happened in your life , but you can choose the person you want to be , despite your negative experiences.

Forgiveness : way to happiness.

Hurt is in the normal flow of life. Events, circumstances, and behaviours are its cause. In normal human interactions, there are times when we get hurt and there are times when we cause hurt. To hurt and be hurt is human. Hurt is the pain of life. The grief of life.

Our actions in this world have motivations. These motivations carry the baggage of expectations. It is these expectations that are the cause of pain, the cause of sorry, the cause of hurt and grief. We expect to receive something. When we do not get it, we feel hurt.Sometimes we are the recipient of hurt. Sometimes we are the cause of hurt caused to others. The more hurt we cause to others, the more we will be punished with hurt in the future. This is karma. This is justice.Sometimes it is in the depth of emotional hurt that we find our true ourselves. We find the people who really matter. We find the values that matter. Deep pain causes melancholy and leads to a reflective state. We reach within our depths to find a solution to our suffering. There are two types of possible reactions to hurt. Two possible solutions. The first solution permanently solves the pain and suffering. The second solution leads to a further increase of the problem.

The first solution or reaction is called forgiveness. The second possible reaction is called revenge.

When we forgive and ask for forgiveness, we broaden our humanity. Our hurt melts in the breadth of our forgiveness. When we forgive, we elevate our spirituality. We rise above the cause. The cause seems to small. We suddenly our standing like a giant with our forgiveness. There is a precondition to be able to act in this grand way. First, we have to drop our pride and ego. Once we can do that with ease, forgiveness comes easy. Hurt becomes only a distant memory.

But there is a second way of reaction to hurt, a reaction which is more popularly practised, termed as revenge. When we are hurt, we suddenly realise that our pride and high status must be defended and protected. We become protectors of our pride. We build a fabled wall of invincibility around us. We try to live upto our invincible image. The protection of pride and ego is the chief reason why people resort to revenge. Revenge is a losing game. Your hurt will only increase. The more the revenge, the more the hurt. You will be pulled into a destructive, emotional whirlpool. Beware !

I have analysed hurt, the cause of hurt, and the possible solutions. This simple analysis has depth of meaning and wisdom. In its practise lies the keys of happiness.